CNA: A certified nursing assistant. Also known as a professional butt-wiper, bed-maker, hand-holder, gait belt user and call light answerer.
I was not planning on working as a CNA again this summer, but God had other plans. As my travels in Asia came quickly to an end, doors were opened at my favorite warm and welcoming skilled nursing facility. I was so blessed and filled with love from all of my coworkers and wonderful residents. It was a joy to be back and I have so many stories that are too good not to share. Stories where God hugged me through a patient, I confused poop for balls, tripped through halls (didn't mean to rhyme there), laughed and cried. I hope you enjoy! (*note: all names were changed to protect patient's and their families. HIPAA calls. Also, these stories may get a little gross. You've been warned).
-It was 0610 in the morning and my eyes were still adjusting to the new day that came oh so quickly. I just finished accompanying my first patient to the bathroom when I hear "CODE BLUE CODE BLUE" over the intercom. I remember thinking "crap, what am I going to do? I can't leave my patient here in the bathroom. But it's code blue! That's more important than waiting here. But patient safety comes first. Ah I'll just stay and hopefully someone else will go." I start picking her clothes out for the day and grabbing her toothbrush when I hear "CODE BLUE CODE BLUE" once again. This time I knew I had to go. I started to half run/half walk/ half-look-like-a-fool figuring out what is happening when I ATE IT in the hallway. Yup. One second I'm up and frantically going through the halls and the next I'm sprawled out on the floor. Just call me Grace. What makes this story better is: 1) I had an audience that witnessed this fall. 2) It was all a drill. At least no one needed CPR and my patient was safe in the bathroom. Maybe I'm the one who needs a gait belt.
-While working in the covenant center (where Alzheimer patients abide), I had one man who would flirt with me throughout every 8 hour shift. It was great. When he saw me he would say, "Oh there's my sweetheart" or "how's my sweetheart doing today?" He would ask if I was married and always responded by saying "If I was younger, I'd marry you and we'd be RICH, baby," This conversation happened repeatedly for a month, and it never got old.
-After taking Emy to the bathroom, (a more alert and independent patient), I asked her if she went #1 and/or #2? She responded with a serious face, "#1, with a lot of wind." I busted up giggling and she joined me. That darn wind, what can you do about it. (Just to make sure we're on the same page... wind=farts. You're welcome for the clarification).
-I was strolling through the hall checking on my patients when I noticed Annie curled up in her bed crying. This was very unlike Annie, so I went in to talk with her. She only speaks Portuguese, but we can get by speaking a little Spanish and English to each other. "Annie, como estas? How are you? Que paso? What's up?" I knelt down by her bed and placed my hand over hers when she said "Mi corazon something dolor" (my heart hurts). My nursing student radar went up and thought "Oh-no. A patient is complaining of heart pain?" I continued to assess her more rapidly now, asking "On a scale of 1-10, how much pain are you in" all in my broken Spanish. When we weren't getting anywhere, I quickly grabbed a coworker who could translate and grabbed the charge nurse. As I was taking her vitals, my coworker translated and said she just missed her family, which was why she said her heart was hurting. I couldn't help but laugh in relief that she was okay! Broken hearts are easier to mend to than a myocardial infarction. I really need to get better at Spanish.
-Speaking of broken hearts, there were moments when I missed my grandpa Trouble so much, especially when the shock of him gone was still so fresh. It hurt to go into his old room and I tried to avoid it for as long as I could. Thankfully, I was placed in other assignments so I didn't have to face his old room. However, eventually I had to pass it. It was during lunch and I was going in to feed a patient. I couldn't keep the tears back and finally just let them go. As I entered the room with tears down my face, my patient who was usually asleep and incoherent was wide awake. He looked at me and spread his arms out and said "Come here and give me a hug." Call me crazy and don't believe me, but I know without a doubt that it was God who used this old man to comfort me. I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life.
-I loved devotions right before lunch time. Why? Well, I got to sit for a few seconds, which was always a special treat. But my favorite part was sitting next to a patient that God would put on my heart and I would hold their hands for devotion and prayer time. Physical touch is so so important, especially when one is getting older. There were moments when an older lady would place her head on my shoulder or kiss my cheek. I have so many grandpas and grandmas to kiss and love on... it's the best job in the world.
-One day, after getting Dave set up in his recliner after lunch, he said "Now don't forget to come and give me a hug before you leave." Well, I forgot and was reminded of my forgetfulness the next day. I was so surprised when he said "Now Missy, you forgot to give me a hug." My patients surprise me all the time! It's so easy to assume that the marbles are gone or the elevator doesn't reach the attic.. (I don't think that's the correct metaphor... but you know what I mean). They'll surprise you every day, which is what keeps this job so interesting.
-As I was charting late at night at the end of a 3-11PM shift, Sam, a small, old man, wheeled himself up next to me and said "I'm going to tickle you, I'm going to tickle you" and proceeded to do just that. Again, they surprise you all the time! I pretended to chase him down the hall and tickle him back. We were both giggly... But then that sweet moment passed and angry and confused Sam was back. It's important to treasure those sweet moments to help get through the rough ones that may include yelling, cussing, spitting and hitting.
-Imagine getting everyone in bed, FINALLY, and the place is quiet (and might I add a little eerie). Lights are off and everyone should be asleep. I went to the back room where we park the wheelchairs for the night when I hear in a low voice "hellllooo helllloooo." After almost peeing myself and cussing out loud, I look over and see Bernie in the corner of the kitchen. Again, the lights are off except for a dim light just on him in the corner. And he's in his white night gown. It was a scary sight and I still get the chills thinking about that. I'm not a fan of scary movies, nor old men scaring you late at night.
-Here I am, in a small bathroom, standing a foot taller in a silly argument with an older lady about whether or not she brushed her teeth. She was so convinced she didn't brush her teeth she made me second guess whether she actually did, even though I just put her toothbrush back in her drawer. I thought I was losing my mind... maybe it is contagious. I just wanted her to crawl into bed so I could be done, but she just had to brush those pearly whites once again. After saying "you JUST brushed your teeth, Sally" and her responding "nu-uh" and me "uh-huh" over and over a few seconds, I gave in and got everything out again. Once I set her up at the sink again, she looked up and smiled at me and said "thank you." I left the room laughing, thinking how silly that argument was. I should have given in sooner, but was too stubborn and lazy to repeat the process all over again.
-I had one special patient who would always thank me for everything I did. Whether that was walking her from the dining room to her room, to putting cotton balls in her ears and tucking her in bed. She was so appreciative, which would give me energy to finish through the shift strong.
-A few weeks ago, I was asked to work a double shift. I ended up working close to 18 hours... from 2:30PM-7:30AM. Holy moly batman is right. It's possible, especially with a lot of prayer and coffee and a 30 min. nap on your "lunch" break at 3AM. Night shift also has to help get patients up in the morning, so around 0600 I was preparing to get Esther up and out of bed. I've learned throughout the years that she is a screamer and have even heard her all the way across the building. She will yell at the top of her lungs at anything and everything, but mainly because she is scared. So, knowing this was about to happen, I started singing the second I woke her up. I sang everything from Jesus Loves Me to Have I Told You Lately that I Love You, and guys, it worked! This is coming from a girl who can't sing, but it worked for her.
-Drops of sweat were dripping down my face as I was working so hard to turn and clean this patient. One hand was used to keep her on her side as she couldn't help much, and the other was to wipe (front to back always) and clean her. I'm doing all I could just to keep her on her side, when all of a sudden she farts in my face (I should mention that my face was less than 6 inches from her buttocks). The BEST part of the story is that she turns her head and smirks at me and says, "you make me fart." HA! Me? The one sweating and doing everything I can to keep her upright... AND I make her fart? It was hilarious.
-"Oh, there's my sweetheart" - says my flirty old man as I make sure he's still in bed.
"Hi, Willie. Go to bed my dear."
"What time is it?" he asks loudly.
"It's only 1 in the morning" I whisper back.
"Oh, Good morning!" he energetically says.
"It's not morning, it's night. Go to bed, Willie."
"What's your name again?" he asks me.
"Lee-Ann-Na."
"I love you, too" he whispers back. Oh Willie, my sweetheart.
-Last story, I promise. I have one patient who always calls me "nurse." It puts a smile on my face and warms my heart every time. My dream of becoming a nurse is coming true and I know that God is calling me into this field. He fills my cup so full, I can't help but overflow that love onto others. And loving Gods children, whether they are old and gray or getting ready for their new life in heaven, is simply the best.
Love,
Li
Thanks for reading!